But it was no sort of satisfaction.

It seemed to me for a while that it was horrible that it was true; that it was frightful to think that God could be like that--since this Jenny-business had really happened.

But I didn't feel all this exactly consciously at the time.

I seemed as if I was ill, and could only lie still and watch and be in hell.

One thing, however, Father Hildebrand thought very important (he asked me about it particularly) was that I honestly did not feel any resentment whatever against either God or Jenny.