I used to think that it was rather good of me to be kind to animals and children, but I began to see that it was simply the way I was made: it wasn't any effort to me.

I simply 'saw red' when I came across cruelty.

And I saw that that was no good.
"Then I began to see that I had done absolutely nothing of any good whatever--that nothing had _really_ cost me anything; and that the things I was proud of were simply self-will--my leaving Cambridge, and all the rest.

They were theatrical, or romantic, or egotistical; there was no real sacrifice.

I should have minded much more not doing them.