Soon after that hour the light within was turned low.
All the while I remained there, motionless, intently watchful for every movement about me, with Tim peacefully asleep on the leaves, my thought was with Eloise Beaucaire, and my mind torn with doubt as to the wisdom of my choice.

Had I determined on the right course?
Was there nothing else I could do?
Was it best for me to thus rely on my own efforts?
or should I have sought the assistance of others?
Yet where could I turn?
How could I gain in time such assistance?
I realized in those moments that selfishness, love, personal desire, had very largely influenced me in my decision; I was eager to rescue her alone, by my own efforts, unaided.

I had to confess this to be my secret purpose.

I could dream of nothing else, and was actually unwilling to share this privilege with any other.

I felt she belonged to me; determined she should belong to me.