And now I've cleared up these matters; and there's another." He bit his lip, thought a moment, then with a deep, long breath: "When you struck me that night I--deserved it.

I was half crazy, I think--with what I had done--with a more material but quite as ruinous situation developing here in town--with domestic complications--never mind where all the fault lay--it was demoralising me.

Do you think that I am not perfectly aware that I stand very much alone among men?
Do you suppose that I am not aware of my personal unpopularity as far as men are concerned?
I have never had an intimate friend--except Delancy Grandcourt.

And I've treated him like a beast.

There's something wrong about me; there always has been." He slaked his thirst again; his hand shook so that he nearly dropped the glass: "Which is preliminary," he went on, "to saying to you that no matter what I said in access of rage, I never doubted that your encounter with--Miss Quest--was an accident.