Twelve months before he had been with his "dear friend, 0, A.Brownson, filled with an unknown spirit, driven from home by it, and like one intoxicated, not knowing who I was or wherefore I was so troubled"-- then to Brook Farm, and to Fruitlands, and back again in New York for the previous five or six months, the same spirit still in sovereign mastery over him, and, "though regulated, none the less powerful." He says that he is not so restless nor his mind so chaotic, but that he still has a pain at heart which he declares to be almost unbearable, joined to some nervous excitability.
Meantime, besides trying to employ himself actively in the business of the Hecker Brothers, he recited lessons daily in both German and Latin, and read much, chiefly on topics suggested by the difficulties with which his life was beset, such as philosophy, religious controversy, and the graver sorts of poetry, of which that of Goethe made a deep impression on him.

The melancholy unrest and longing which such poetry embodies sunk into his very heart.

Often it gave perfect expression to his own doubting and distressed state of soul.
He also found some relaxation in an occasional visit to the theatre and heard nearly all the lectures given in the city.

One of the dreams of his life, the amelioration of the social condition of the working people, he found himself unable to actualize in any appreciable degree.

It is evident that his brothers shared his philanthropic views; but when it came to set practically to work there was a lack of harmony.