If I should do so now, it would throw me back to the place from which I started.

Is this fancy on my part?
All I can say is that if so the last nine or ten months of my life have been a fancy which is too deep for me to control." After paying his family a visit in April, he writes to them on his return: "Brook Farm, April 14, 1843 .-- Here I am alone in my room once more.
I feel settled, and begin to live again, separated from everything but my studies and thoughts, and the feeling of gratitude toward you all for treating me so much better than I am aware of ever having treated you.

May I ever keep this sense of obligation and indebtedness.

My prayer is, that the life I have been led to live these few months back may prove to the advantage of us all in the end.

I sometimes feel guilty because I did not attempt again to try and labor with you.