I struck my hands together.

I paced the room wildly.

Caution deserted me, and I made noise enough to wake the very mute; lost to every consideration but that of the terrifying day before me, the day of silence and of inactivity, that I must live through with an unsuspecting face, a cool head, a civil tongue! The prospect appalled me as nothing else could or did; nay, the sudden noise upon the stairs, the knock at my door, and the sense that I had betrayed myself already even now all was over--these came as a relief after the haunting terror which they interrupted.
I flung the door open, and there stood Mrs.Braithwaite, as fully dressed as myself.
"You'll not be very well sir ?" "No, I'm not." "What's t' matter wi' you ?" This second question was rude and fierce with suspicion: the real woman rang out in it, yet its effect on me was astonishing: once again was I inspired to turn my slip into a move.
"Matter ?" I cried.

"Can't you see what's the matter; couldn't you see when I came in?
Drink's the matter! I came in drunk, and now I'm mad.

I can't stand it; I'm not in a fit state.