"Having ascertained my purpose, it was requisite to search out the means by which I might effect it.

These were not clearly or readily suggested.
The more I contemplated my project, the more numerous and arduous its difficulties appeared.

I had no associates in my undertaking.

A due regard to my safety, and the unextinguished sense of honour, deterred me from seeking auxiliaries and co-agents.

The esteem of mankind was the spring of all my activity, the parent of all my virtue and all my vice.
To preserve this, it was necessary that my guilty projects should have neither witness nor partaker.
"I quickly discovered that to execute this scheme demanded time, application, and money, none of which my present situation would permit me to devote to it.