I have sufficient money for the undertaking, and I hope now sufficient qualifications to give me a fair chance of success; yet I cannot yet permit myself to enter upon life--to touch the object which seems now within my reach, and which I have been so long straining to attain.

You will ask me why?
It is on papa's account; he is now, as you know, getting old, and it grieves me to tell you that he is losing his sight.

I have felt for some months that I ought not to be away from him; and I feel now that it would be too selfish to leave him (at least, as long as Branwell and Anne are absent), in order to pursue selfish interests of my own.

With the help of God, I will try to deny myself in this matter, and to wait.
"I suffered much before I left Brussels.

I think, however long I live, I shall not forget what the parting with M.Heger cost me.