Well, I would not be in their way.

I would go away from Hillsboro'.
I crept over to the fire, drew the embers together, and watched them waning and dying in the grate.

I no longer told myself that I should get over it.

I knew that I should not die, or go mad, nor do anything that people could talk about; but deep in my heart I knew that here was a sorrow that would go with me to my grave.

I felt that I was not a girl to put my foot on the memory of it, and go out into the world again to be wooed and won afresh.