She died in my arms in this very room, and I promised never to leave her.

Also, after her death, I vowed that my last words to her should be my last to any human being, and, until this day, I have kept that vow, foolish and wicked though it was.

I have talked and read aloud when alone, but to no man have I spoken.

I have also avoided intercourse with my fellows, selfishly preferring to nurse my sorrow in sinful rebellion against God's will.

Now am I justly punished by being stricken down in the pride of my strength.