[The Confessions of Artemas Quibble by Arthur Train]@TWC D-Link bookThe Confessions of Artemas Quibble CHAPTER V 9/22
Marching up to him, he demanded in a loud voice: "Are you Van Rennsellaer ?" The lawyer, exceedingly astonished, replied, with what dignity he was able to assume under the circumstances; "I am Mister Winthrop Van Rennsellaer." "Come wid me!" ordered Mike. "I shall do nothing of the kind!" retorted the lawyer, getting red in the face. "Y' won't, eh ?" exclaimed the deputy; and, grasping Mr.Winthrop Van Rennsellaer by his linen collar, he yanked him out of his chair and, to the horror of the servile supernumeraries in the lawyer's employ, dragged that eminent member of the bar through his own offices, down the stairs, and into the street. The lawyer protested loudly at the indignities to which he was being subjected and a large crowd gathered, which for the time being blocked Broadway.
Mike, confident that he had the authority of the United States Government behind him, exhibited his badge, called upon the police to assist him in the exercise of his duty and proceeded triumphantly to march Mr.Winthrop Van Rennsellaer, hatless, up the street at the head of a large and enthusiastic procession of interested citizens.
From time to time Mike would turn and call upon the crowd to disperse, at the same time announcing in a loud voice that he had arrested his prisoner by an order of the Government to take him alive or dead. By this time the lawyer's little round head was glowing a bright red and his legs almost refused to carry him.
Once they had arrived at the Post-office Building the mistake was quickly discovered and Mr.Van Rennsellaer was set at liberty; but each and every United States judge had to descend in his robes from the bench and implore his pardon before the furious little lawyer would consent to call a cab and return to his office. I understand that he always believed that the whole thing was a trick of Gottlieb's to humiliate him; and, indeed, some members of the bar have suspected me of the same thing--entirely without justification, of course.
During the rest of his exceedingly distinguished career one had only to mention the words _duces tecum_ in the presence of Mr.Winthrop Van Rennsellaer to deprive him instantly of his composure; in fact, for a long time he abandoned appearing in court and contented himself with nursing his dignity in his office.
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