I am made the defendant in a divorce action and ordered to pay you two hundred and fifty dollars on affidavits that I know are perjured from start to finish.
Well, if that's law I have nothing to say.

Of course, you can't win your case, because you can't prove that I ever married anybody -- which latter fact, of course, you very well know.

I would never pay you a cent to settle this or any other unfounded suit, and I never did anything for which you or any other scoun--beg pardon, I mean lawyer--could blackmail me.

But this is a new one on me.
You have got a court order that I am to pay you two hundred and fifty dollars to bring a bogus action against myself.

Well, here's my check for it.