CHAPTER XVIII.
FORTUNE'S FROLICS.
_Count Basset._ We gentlemen, whose carriages run on the four aces, are apt to have a wheel out of order.
_The Provoked Husband._ Our history must now look a little backwards; and although it is rather foreign to our natural style of composition, it must speak more in narrative, and less in dialogue, rather telling what happened, than its effects upon the actors.

Our purpose, however, is only conditional, for we foresee temptations which may render it difficult for us exactly to keep it.
The arrival of the young Earl of Etherington at the salutiferous fountain of St.Ronan's had produced the strongest sensation; especially, as it was joined with the singular accident of the attempt upon his lordship's person, as he took a short cut through the woods on foot, at a distance from his equipage and servants.

The gallantry with which he beat off the highwayman, was only equal to his generosity; for he declined making any researches after the poor devil, although his lordship had received a severe wound in the scuffle.
Of the "three black Graces," as they have been termed by one of the most pleasant companions of our time, Law and Physic hastened to do homage to Lord Etherington, represented by Mr.Meiklewham and Dr.Quackleben; while Divinity, as favourable, though more coy, in the person of the Reverend Mr.Simon Chatterly, stood on tiptoe to offer any service in her power.
For the honourable reason already assigned, his lordship, after thanking Mr.Meiklewham, and hinting, that he might have different occasion for his services, declined his offer to search out the delinquent by whom he had been wounded; while to the care of the Doctor he subjected the cure of a smart flesh-wound in the arm, together with a slight scratch on the temple; and so very genteel was his behaviour on the occasion, that the Doctor, in his anxiety for his safety, enjoined him a month's course of the waters, if he would enjoy the comfort of a complete and perfect recovery.

Nothing so frequent, he could assure his lordship, as the opening of cicatrized wounds; and the waters of St.Ronan's spring being, according to Dr.Quackleben, a remedy for all the troubles which flesh is heir to, could not fail to equal those of Barege, in facilitating the discharge of all splinters or extraneous matter, which a bullet may chance to incorporate with the human frame, to its great annoyance.

For he was wont to say, that although he could not declare the waters which he patronised to be an absolute _panpharmacon_, yet he would with word and pen maintain, that they possessed the principal virtues of the most celebrated medicinal springs in the known world.