My indignation against my uncle and cousin subsided into a sullen, implacable hatred, to overcome which I tried, and even prayed in vain.
Ashamed of harbouring this sinful passion, I yet wanted the moral courage and Christian forbearance to overcome what reason and conscience united to condemn.
Degraded in my own estimation, I longed, yet dreaded to confide to Harrison, that the man he attended with such devotion was capable of such base degeneracy--of entertaining sentiments only worthy of Robert Moncton and his son.
The violence of my disorder had reduced me to such a state of weakness that I imagined myself at the point of death, when I was actually out of danger.

My nervous system was so greatly affected that I yielded to the most childish fears, and contemplated dying with indescribable horror.
Harrison, who was unacquainted with the state of my mind, attributed these feelings to the reaction produced by the fever; and thinking that a state of quiescence was necessary for my recovery, seldom spoke to me but at those times when, with tenderness almost feminine, he gave me food and medicine, arranged my pillows, or made affectionate inquiries about my bodily state.

I often pretended to be asleep, while my mind was actively employed in conjuring up a host of ghastly phantoms, which prevented my recovery, and were effectually undermining my reason.
One afternoon, as I lay in a sort of dreamy state, between sleeping and waking, and mournfully brooding over my perishing hopes and approaching dissolution, I thought that a majestic figure, clothed in flowing garments of glistening white, came to my bedside, and said to me in tones of exquisite sweetness, "Poor, perishing, sinful child of earth! if you wish to enter Heaven, you must first forgive your enemies.

The gate of Life is kept by Love, who is ready to open to every one who first withdraws the bar which Hatred has placed before the narrow entrance." Overwhelmed with fear and astonishment, I started up in the bed, exclaiming in tones of agonized entreaty, "Oh, God, forgive me! I cannot do it!" "Do what, dear Geoffrey ?" said George, coming to the bedside, and taking my hand in his.
"Forgive my enemies.

Forgive those wretches who have brought me to this state, and by their cruel conduct placed both life and reason in jeopardy.