Tufts of hair flew about, whines and groans resounded; the General who had been a teacher of calligraphy bit off his adversary's Order, and immediately swallowed it.

But the sight of flowing blood seemed to restore them to their senses.
"The power of the cross defend us!" they exclaimed simultaneously; "if we go on like this we shall eat each other!" "And how did we get here?
What malefactor has played us this trick ?" "We must divert our minds with some sort of conversation, your Excellency, or there will be murder!" said the other General.
"Begin!" replied the other General.
"Well, for instance, what do you think about this, Why does the sun rise first and then set, instead of acting the other way about ?" "You are a queer man, your Excellency; don't you rise first, then go to the office, write there, and afterward go to bed ?" "But why not admit this reversal of the order; first I go to bed, have divers dreams, and then rise ?" "Hm, yes....

But I must confess that when I served in the department I always reasoned in this fashion: now it is morning, then it will be day, then supper will be served, and it will be time to go to bed." But the mention of supper plunged them both into grief, and broke the conversation off short at the very beginning.
"I have heard a doctor say that a man can live for a long time on his own juices," began one of the Generals.
"Is that so ?" "Yes, sir, it is; it appears that, the juices proper produce other juices; these in their turn, engender still other juices, and so on, until at last the juices cease altogether...." "What then ?" "Then it is necessary to take some sort of nourishment." "Tfu!" In short, no matter what topic of conversation the Generals started, it led inevitably to a mention of food, and this excited their appetites still more.

They decided to cease their conversation, and calling to mind the copy of the "Moscow News" which they had found, they began to read it with avidity.
"Yesterday," read one General, with a quivering voice, "the respected governor of our ancient capital gave a grand dinner.
The table was set for one hundred persons, with wonderful luxury.

The gifts of all lands seemed to have appointed a rendezvous at this magical feast.