There is one point on which he cannot avoid making a few brief remarks--that is the inconsistent conduct of its apostles in general.

The teetotal apostle says, it is a dreadful thing to be drunk.

So it is, teetotaller; but if so, why do you get drunk?
I get drunk?
Yes, unhappy man, why do you get drunk on smoke and passion?
Why are your garments impregnated with the odour of the Indian weed?
Why is there a pipe or a cigar always in your mouth?
Why is your language more dreadful than that of a Poissarde?
Tobacco-smoke is more deleterious than ale, teetotaller; bile more potent than brandy.

You are fond of telling your hearers what an awful thing it is to die drunken.

So it is, teetotaller.