[White Lies by Charles Reade]@TWC D-Link bookWhite Lies CHAPTER V 62/81
How will this end ?" "I hardly know." "Do you mean to marry Monsieur Raynal, then? answer me that." "No; but I should not wonder if he were to marry ME." "But you said 'no.'" "Yes, I said 'no' once." "And don't you mean to say it again, and again, and again, till kingdom come ?" "What is the use? you heard him say he would not desist any the more, and I care too little about the matter to go on persisting, and persisting, and persisting." "Why not, if he goes on pestering, and pestering, and pestering ?" "Ah, he is like you, all energy, at all hours; but I have so little where my heart is unconcerned: he seems, too, to have a wish! I have none either way, and my conscience says 'marry him!'" "Your conscience say marry one man when you love another ?" "Heaven forbid! Rose, I love no one: I HAVE loved; but now my heart is dead and silent; only my conscience says, 'You are the cause of all your mother's trouble; you are the cause that Beaurepaire was sold.
Now you can repair that mischief, and at the same time make a brave man happy, our benefactor happy.' It is a great temptation: I hardly know why I said 'no' at all; surprise, perhaps--or to please you, pretty one." Rose groaned: "Are you then worth so little that you would throw yourself away on a man who does not love you, nor want you, and is quite as happy single ?" "No; not happy; he is only stout-hearted and good, and therefore content; and he is a character that it would be easy--in short, I feel my power here: I could make that man happy; he has nobody to write to even, when he is away--poor fellow!" "I shall lose all patience," cried Rose; "you are at your old trick, thinking of everybody but yourself: I let you do it in trifles, but I love you too well to permit it when the happiness of your whole life is at stake.
I must be satisfied on one point, or else this marriage shall never take place: just answer me this; if Camille Dujardin stood on one side, and Monsieur Raynal on the other, and both asked your hand, which would you take ?" "That will never be.
Whose? Not his whom I despise.
Esteem might ripen into love, but what must contempt end in ?" This reply gave Rose great satisfaction.
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