and even then it can't be done.
And besides, if she tells Mamma" (Sonya looked upon the countess as her mother and called her so) "that I am spoiling Nicholas' career and am heartless and ungrateful, while truly...

God is my witness," and she made the sign of the cross, "I love her so much, and all of you, only Vera...

And what for?
What have I done to her?
I am so grateful to you that I would willingly sacrifice everything, only I have nothing...." Sonya could not continue, and again hid her face in her hands and in the feather bed.

Natasha began consoling her, but her face showed that she understood all the gravity of her friend's trouble.
"Sonya," she suddenly exclaimed, as if she had guessed the true reason of her friend's sorrow, "I'm sure Vera has said something to you since dinner?
Hasn't she ?" "Yes, these verses Nicholas wrote himself and I copied some others, and she found them on my table and said she'd show them to Mamma, and that I was ungrateful, and that Mamma would never allow him to marry me, but that he'll marry Julie.

You see how he's been with her all day...
Natasha, what have I done to deserve it ?..." And again she began to sob, more bitterly than before.