He found fault with the length, the thickness, and the twist; nay, the very colour did not please him.

"Will nothing less than hanging serve ?" quoth Jack.
"Won't my enemies take bail for my good behaviour?
Will they accept of a fine, or be satisfied with the pillory and imprisonment, a good round whipping, or burning in the cheek ?" HAB .-- Nothing but your blood will appease their rage; make haste, else we shall be discovered.

There's nothing like surprising the rogues.

How they will be disappointed when they hear that thou hast prevented their revenge and hanged thine own self.
JACK .-- That's true; but what if I should do it in effigies?
Is there never an old pope or pretender to hang up in my stead?
We are not so unlike but it may pass.
HAB .-- That can never be put upon Sir Roger.
JACK .-- Are you sure he is in the next room?
Have you provided a very sharp knife, in case of the worst?
HAB .-- Dost take me for a common liar?
Be satisfied, no damage can happen to your person; your friends will take care of that.
JACK .-- Mayn't I quilt my rope?
It galls my neck strangely: besides, I don't like this running knot.

It holds too tight; I may be stifled all of a sudden.
HAB .-- Thou hast so many ifs and ands! prithee despatch; it might have been over before this time.
JACK .-- But now I think on't, I would fain settle some affairs, for fear of the worst: have a little patience.
HAB .-- There's no having patience, thou art such a faintling, silly creature.
JACK .-- O thou most detestable, abominable Passive Obedience! did I ever imagine I should become thy votary, in so pregnant an instance?
How will my brother Martin laugh at this story, to see himself outdone in his own calling! He has taken the doctrine, and left me the practice.
No sooner had he uttered these words, but, like a man of true courage, he tied the fatal cord to the beam, fitted the noose, and mounted upon the bottom of a tub, the inside of which he had often graced in his prosperous days.