Tho' our intentions were only to upbraid him with his ingratitude; yet it was resolved to do it in a manner that would be perfectly cutting.

For this purpose we agreed to meet him with our usual smiles, to chat in the beginning with more than ordinary kindness, to amuse him a little; and then in the midst of the flattering calm to burst upon him like an earthquake, and overwhelm him with the sense of his own baseness.

This being resolved upon, my wife undertook to manage the business herself, as she really had some talents for such an undertaking.

We saw him approach, he entered, drew a chair, and sate down.--'A fine day, Mr Burchell.'-- 'A very fine day, Doctor; though I fancy we shall have some rain by the shooting of my corns.'-- 'The shooting of your horns,' cried my wife, in a loud fit of laughter, and then asked pardon for being fond of a joke.--'Dear madam,' replied he, 'I pardon you with all my heart; for I protest I should not have thought it a joke had you not told me.'-- 'Perhaps not, Sir,' cried my wife, winking at us, 'and yet I dare say you can tell us how many jokes go to an ounce.'-- 'I fancy, madam,' returned Burchell, 'you have been reading a jest book this morning, that ounce of jokes is so very good a conceit; and yet, madam, I had rather see half an ounce of understanding.'-- 'I believe you might,' cried my wife, still smiling at us, though the laugh was against her; 'and yet I have seen some men pretend to understanding that have very little.'-- 'And no doubt,' replied her antagonist, 'you have known ladies set up for wit that had none.'-- I quickly began to find that my wife was likely to gain but little at this business; so I resolved to treat him in a stile of more severity myself.

'Both wit and understanding,' cried I, 'are trifles, without integrity: it is that which gives value to every character.