9/63 That prayer was not answered, and indeed Dick knew in his heart of hearts that only a lingering sense of humour and no special virtue had kept him alive. Suicide, he had persuaded himself, would be a ludicrous insult to the gravity of the situation as well as a weak-kneed confession of fear. I can live for a year on the hundred pounds Torp cashed for me. I must have two or three thousand at least in the Bank--twenty or thirty years more provided for, that is to say. Then I fall back on my hundred and twenty a year, which will be more by that time. |