Besides, there was a miserable consideration which increased my secret sorrow.

I thought myself bound in duty to caress him, and on his side, as he thought that he ought to pay me in the same money, I was afraid of his ruining his health for me, and that idea made me very unhappy.

Having no love for each other, we allowed a foolish feeling of regard to make both of us uncomfortable.

We lavished, for the sake of a well-meaning but false decorum, that which belongs to love alone.

Another thing troubled me greatly.